Trust
by Morgan
Summary: Previously known as "The Secret." But now it's ALL DONE and ready to be reviewed. A Lily/James fanfic.


**A/N: This story was up before titled "The Secret" but I took it down for a while to work on it. But while it was down, somebody wrote another story called "The Secret," so I had to rename mine "Trust." Don't ask me why, I only call it that because I needed a title other than "The Story." And it's all done, so please cease the e-mails telling me I'm a slacker.**

**Oh, and by the way… As ya all know, none of these characters are mine except for Kyla, Celeste, and Mariel, yada, yada, and any connection this story has with any of the 4 future books in purely coincidential. Thank you very much.**

Lily Atkins dumped her bag full of books onto her desk and then went over to her bed and flung herself upon it. "My gosh, what a day," she groaned, "McGonagall gave us enough homework to last us a century, not to mention all those essays we have to do in all our other classes! I wish I could trade places with you tonight."

Her roommate Kyla Jacobson looked up from the book she was reading and chuckled darkly. "Oh, yeah. That would make _so much of a difference. Especially since we have exactly the same classes and therefore exactly the same homework," she said with a wry smile. "Oh yeah, I forgot we did," said Lily, "I must be going crazy! My gosh, why are we working as hard as we do during exams, when it's only September?"_

"Beats me," said Kyla absently, for she was getting very deeply absorbed in her book. "Where is Celeste?" wondered Lily. Celeste Williams was Lily's other roommate as well as her best friend. They were both brilliant students, very pretty, and were very popular among their fellow pupils. Lily, with her lovely titian hair, seemed like a sweet and gentle girl at first sight, but her eyes were deceiving. However sweet her face was, her vivacious spirit was so clearly visible in her sparkling green eyes that one would get the feeling that this girl would never run out of energy. She had the rare ability to brighten a room just by entering it.Celeste however, although she was by no means shy, was a bit more

reserved. Having been well brought up in a proper and genteel wizarding family, whereas Lily was the daughter of muggles, Celeste was more inclined to be a bit more refined. She was what you would call a lady. 

"Hmm? What did you say?" asked Kyla. "I said, _where is Celeste?" said Lily a bit irritably. "You don't have to bite my head off," remarked Kyla. Just then, Celeste burst into the room looking rather grumpy. " I don't believe it!" she cried, " __FOUR essays to do not counting the 300 pages we have to read for Defense Against the Dark Arts!"_

"Welcome to the club," said Lily, winking at Kyla. The two girls burst into giggles leaving Celeste looking confused. All of a sudden, Lily jumped up, looked at the watch she wore on a chain around her neck and shouted," Oh no! I was supposed to meet James in the library fifteen minutes ago!"

" Oh who cares if you're fifteen minutes late," grumbled Kyla, " You spend all the other 1425 minutes in a day with him."

"Oh, I do not!" shouted Lily turning red, " You make it sound as though I like him or something."

"Well, you do," teased Celeste, " You talk about him day and night. I was having a terrible time trying to get to sleep last night because I had to listen to you muttering his name every five seconds." 

Embarrassed, Lily threw the first thing she touched at Kyla and Celeste, which luckily turned out to be a pillow.Celeste easily blocked it with her hand, laughing, " Don't be mad, Lily. It's okay that you like him. He _is rather cute."_

Lily started blushing furiously, which only cause the other two girls to erupt in a fit of giggles. "Oh you just wait, you two!"

"Wait till what? Her wedding day?," whispered Kyla to Celeste. Lily then stormed out of the room with her friends' laughter echoing behind her.

Lily was searching the library looking for James when she spotted him with his three best friends. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew were all huddled around a table in the corner of the library. Remus was looking a bit wan. She was just about to go up to them when she heard them whispering things like, " I can't wait!" and, "I hope we don't get caught." Curious, Lily ducked behind a statue of a jolly looking wizard. "We are going to have the coolest night, now that we're all able to transform into animals," exclaimed Peter, looking as if he'd just discovered that his birthday was a month earlier than originally thought. "Shh…not so loud," hissed Sirius, "Remember, we're doing this illegally, and if anyone finds out we're animagi, it's Azkaban for us." 

'_Oh my god. Animagi?' thought Lily. She knew it wasn't right to eavesdrop, but she couldn't help herself._

"Honestly, Padfoot, even someone did hear us, do you think they'd believe it? I mean, who would ever imagine that four, (well, three not counting one werewolf,) fifth –year boys would pull off something like this?" said James.Sirius shot back, "Well even if people would laugh at the thought of us becoming animagi, they would sure as hell won't laugh if they found out what Remus is!"

'_What Remus is?' thought a very bewildered Lily, '__What does he mean?'_

" I _know what I am," said Remus rather coldly, "And you don't have to rub it in my face, especially around this time of the month."_

'_What the--' By now, Lily was so confused that she thought she might start screaming. Leaning forward, she heard Sirius muttering, "I wasn't rubbing it in your face! I did not say that it was bad or anything that you're a werewolf! I just meant…" But Lily didn't hear anymore._

She was reeling from shock. She hadn't expected this. She hadn't been prepared to hear this. Anything but this.Her head was spinning dizzily and her thoughts were jumbled. '_A werewolf? __How can it be? I have to tell Professor Dumbledore! But Remus is my friend and I could never betray him. But oh, he could be dangerous! How long has James known? How could he not tell me? How can he hang around Remus when he knows he could get bitten anytime?'_

_Afraid that she might faint and hit her head on the statue, (which didn't look quite so jolly anymore,) Lily stumbled out of the library in a daze taking as deep of breaths as she could manage._

Things weren't any better the next day. Lily was walking around in a trance. It was as if someone else was controlling her body. She skipped breakfast and headed straight for her first class, transfiguration. "Watch where you're going, Thayer," snarled Lucius Malfoy as Lily accidentally plowed right into him. Lucius was always nasty to her because he though muggle-borns were no better than muck on the bottom of his shoes. Instead of telling him off in the form of a flashy comeback as she usually did, Lily just mumbled an apology and hurried off, leaving a surprised yet triumphant Malfoy.

Her classes were no better. Everyone, including the teachers could tell something was wrong. "What's up?" asked a very concerned Kyla who was sitting next to her. "What? Oh, uh nothing," lied Lily. '_Great, now she knows I'm lying,' though_t Lily as Kyla continued staring suspiciously at Lily.

She was concentrating so hard on looking and acting like her normal self that she didn't even notice the door open. James, Sirius, and Peter staggered in. Remus wasn't with them. They all looked very tired. Cheerful, but tired.

"I hope you have a good reason for being late gentlemen? And don't start about meeting a troll in the hallway. There's only so many ways you can knock out a troll," said Professor McGonagall. The three looked at each other. "Oh uh, yes, see uh, about being late, don't you think maybe you could let us off this one time?" They looked up at Professor McGonagall with big puppy dog eyes. She sighed and said with just a hint of sarcasm, "Oh, why not. So instead of having detention every day this whole week, you may have it just today."

"Hi Lily," James whispered as he and Sirius collapsed into the desk next to Lily and Kyla's. "Hi," she whispered automatically. It sounded a bit listless, but James didn't seem to notice. She gazed at him through the entire lesson through the corner of her eye the whole lesson and she didn't even hear when Professor McGonagall called on her.

"Er, Miss Atkins?" Lily jerked her head up with a snap. "Um, sorry Professor, I wasn't paying attention. Can you please repeat the question?" she asked sheepishly. "I asked you how you can tell if an animal really is an animal or if it's a animagus," replied Professor McGonagall. Lily froze and her thoughts wandered off to the conversation she'd heard the night before.

"Miss Atkins!" Professor McGonagall said rather sharply. "I'm sorry professor," murmured Lily, "I guess I'm just not myself today."

"Well I can see that!" snapped Professor McGonagall. Then her expression softened as she realized there was indeed something wrong with her usually bright and energetic student today. "Perhaps you would like to go lie down a bit," she said gently, "I'll write you a hall pass."

Lily was so relieved to get out of there that she nearly jumped from her seat and sprinted to the door. Then she heard Professor McGonagall add, " But first, please come with me to Professor Dumbledore's office. It'll only take a moment."

Lily heard all the girls gasp while all the boys started cheering for her silently. James even flashed her a thumbs up sign.Celeste and Kyla were gaping open-mouthed at her. Lily knew that you were only asked to go to_ Dumbledore's office when you were in __very deep trouble. But for the first time all day, she was able to walk out of the room with her shoulders erect and her head held high._

Lily followed Professor McGonagall quietly up until they met Peeves the Poltergeist in the hallway. He was painting mustaches on the people in the portraits. At least, he was trying to, but the furious victims were ducking behind the frames. "Peeves!" shouted Professor McGonagall. He twirled around and came face to face with Lily. "Aww, is poor little Lily in trouble? Poor little Lily's really going to get it!," he cackled with a paint can and brush still in his hand. He threw the paintbrush at Lily but missed. He finally noticed Professor McGonagall. He made a face, blew a raspberry, and was about to fly away when Lily shouted, " _Wingardium Leviosa!" _

The paint can flew out of Peeves hand, turned over, and emptied itself on Peeves' head. "AAAHHHH!" he yelled, turning somersaults and trying to get the black paint out of his eyes. 

"Lily Atkins!"

She had forgotten who was with her. Lily heard Professor McGonagall squeak. '_Probably because she's so angry she can't speak,' thought Lily miserably__. _She turned around slowly expecting the worst. What she saw both shocked and heartened her.

Professor McGonagall's face looked disfigured, and Lily could tell she was trying desperately to keep a straight face and not to smile. Then, unexpectedly, Professor McGonagall doubled over in laughter. Lily, and probably no one else in the whole school, had ever seen Minerva McGonagall laugh.Lily just stared, speechless, for a while. She started giggling uneasily. Finally, she joined Professor McGonagall and was soon down on the floor, hysterical with laughter.

"What could possibly be so funny?" queried a voice behind her. Lily recognized it immediately. Obviously, Professor McGonagall did too. "Er, Lily here decided to teach Peeves a little lesson, Albus," she said a bit breathlessly.

Professor Dumbledore's eyes wandered from the spilled black paint to the two bedraggled women on the floor and his eyes crinkled in a smile. "Well, I wish I could have been here to see it if it was entertaining enough to make _you laugh, Minerva," he said with a grin, "But if you'll excuse us, I believe I have a meeting with this spirited young lady."_

Lily had forgotten why she was rolling on the ground and not in class. '_Peeves was right. I really am__ in for it,' she thought glumly. Immediately the laughter died from her eyes and she wordlessly followed Professor Dumbledore up to an extremely hideous gargoyle. "Fiddlesticks!" said Dumbledore._

The gargoyle suddenly became animated and moved aside. The wall split open and Lily and Professor Dumbledore stepped onto what muggles called an escalator.When they reached the top, Professor Dumbledore led Lily to a door with a griffin on it. It opened by itself and Lily stepped inside.

Dumbledore led Lily to his desk and motioned for her to sit down.A little silver contraption sat whirring on his desk. Little wisps of smoke were coming from it, causing Lily to cough. "Perhaps you're wondering why you're here, Lily," said Dumbledore gently. She nodded. "Well then," continued Professor Dumbledore, "Perhaps you'll tell me how you found out that your friend Remus Lupin is a werewolf."

Lily sat frozen. '_Dumbledore knew?' she thought, dazed. "H-how did you know?" she stammered. "By the way you kept glancing suspiciously at Mr. Lupin last night at dinner," Dumbledore replied with a hint of a smile. "I meant, how did you know he was a werewolf? Did he tell you?" asked Lily._

"He didn't have to. I've known his parents quite well for a long time, Lily," said Dumbledore, "In fact, I was the first person they came to when Remus received the bite. Unfortunately, there was no cure for it then as there is no cure now. To protect the other students and the staff, once a month he hides in the Shrieking Shack. Perhaps you've heard of it? The Whomping Willow guards the entrance so nobody can get near enough to be in risk of being bitten."

As Lily slowly took all this in, Dumbledore went on, "Which is why I called you here. Lily, you must _never tell anyone about this. If anyone found out, all of the students' parents would panic and have Remus expelled. Now, I know that you would never do that intentionally to your friend, but it could slip out somehow. Will you promise?"_

Lily nodded. _'So that was what this was all about!' thought Lily with relief. She had been afraid that she'd be expelled, although she didn't have a clue what she might have done. _

"Well, then. I'll see you later Miss Atkins. Run along to class now," said Dumbledore, smiling but looking at Lily with an almost fierce look in his eyes.

Lily didn't need to be told twice. She was so giddy with relief that she almost skipped out. She had just come out of the opening in the wall by the stone gargoyle, when she ran into someone.Thinking it was Lucius Malfoy, or maybe the just as worse Severus Snape, she looked up defiantly. It was James.

" Uh, hi James," Lily said, trying to get past him.She avoided looking at his face.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you mad at me or something?" James asked. Lily let out a single uneasy bark of laughter.

"Of course not James," she lied, " I uh, was just in a hurry to get to my room. I uh… really need to lie down." 

"Are you okay?"asked James, concerned. 

"Sure, I uh… have a bad headache, that's all. I was um, just going to lie down until it goes away. Yeah, that's right." Lily could have kicked herself for making it so obvious that she was lying. She looked him straight in the eye so he wouldn't get suspicious. She went on, " Really James, you should mind your own business." Lily was strangely satisfied at the hurt look in his eyes.

"Well, then I guess I'll see you later," said James softly.

Lily watched him go, and then suddenly wanted to strangle herself for what she'd just done. '_ Why the heck did I just do that? Now he'll never talk to me again!"_

Lily slowly dragged herself over to the portrait of the fat lady, went inside, and once in the safety of her room, burst into tears. 

That was how Celeste found her an hour later. 

"Hey, Lily, what's wrong? And don't tell me nothing is wrong because I've never seen you cry before, so something is definitely wrong," prodded Celeste. 

"Really? What makes you say that?" said Lily sarcastically. 

"Because whenever you're upset, you make these weird faces that make you look exactly like the gargoyles in the hall. Or even worse, like Severus Snape," said Celeste with a grin as Lily grimaced. " But really, what's wrong? You can tell me, you know," she said gently.

Lily sighed. " I wish I could," she said glumly, " but I promised Dumbledore I wouldn't."

"Wow, it must be serious," said Celeste, " I thought maybe it was because you had a fight with James or something." 

" I sort of did, I guess," said Lily, " I snubbed him in the hall when I was coming back from Dumbledore's office."

"_What? But why?" demanded Celeste._

"I don't know," said Lily miserably, "Well, actually, I do, but that's the part I can't tell." Dragging herself up slowly to a sitting position, she realized that her robes were wrinkled and her hair was sticking out in every direction. '_Kind of like James' hair_,' she thought.

She walked over to the mirror and tried to fix her disheveled self up, but the mirror started shrieking in horror at the state of Lily's hair and robes. "Oh, screw that," Lily muttered and plopped onto her bed.

Celeste started giggling. "Here, use my mirror," she said, handing Lily one of the two lovely mirrors on her nightstand, " My sister bought it for me in Diagon Alley. It's got a Flattering Charm on it. Even if you look like hippogryff dung, it'll always act as if you're the most gorgeous person in the world."

Sure enough, as soon as Lily picked up the mirror it started declaring how lovely Lily was and how she must have a string of guys wanting to go out with her. 

Hearing this, Celeste suddenly remembered of what Lily had done to James and started to scold her about it but stopped when she saw the look on Lily's face. Hastily, she changed the subject. 

"Well," said Celeste cautiously, " The reason I came up here in the first place as because I had a secret to tell you. Two, actually."

This caught Lily's attention. She looked up and asked, "What?"

"Well you have to _swear_ not to tell anybody!" whispered Celeste, " Well, secret #1 is…" she paused dramatically before answering, "Sirius asked me out!"

"What?!" squealed Lily.

" It's true," said Celeste with a huge grin on her face, " He asked me if I wanted to go for a drink with him at the Three Broomsticks later today. I was going to ask you if you and James wanted to double it, but…"

Lily quickly asked, " Well what's your other secret?"

"Oh, that," said Celeste. Her face turned very serious. Speaking at a whisper, even though there was nobody else around, she said, "Lily, you have to _really_ swear not to tell anybody this one. I promised Sirius that I'd only tell you and nobody else. It took me an hour to convince him that you wouldn't tell anyone else either. But try not to scream or anything."

"Well, what is it?" asked Lily rather impatiently.

Slowly, Celeste answered.

"Remus…is…a…werewolf.

Lily blinked. "That's it?" she asked rather stupidly.

"That's it?! How can you say that? Don't you know what this means?" said Celeste rather sharply. Lily recovered from her shock very rapidly.

"Yeah, I know," said Lily, "I found out last night. I overheard James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter whispering about it. It shocked me so much. That was why I was kind of sleepwalking today. That's what Dumbledore wanted to see me about. He warned me not to tell anyone about it."

"Hold on a minute!" cried Celeste, "So… you knew?"

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" asked Lily, "I found out yesterday."

"So that was the big secret," said Celeste in a rather disappointed voice, "And here I was thinking that somebody had died or something. Well, at least now you can tell me why you snubbed James."

Lily sighed. "To tell you the truth," she began, " I don't really know why I did it either. I-I guess it's because he lied to me."

Seeing the disbelieving look on Celeste's face, she explained, " See, I knew him and his friends were up to something. They used to disappear a lot right after classes ended. And when I asked him what was up, he'd make up some lame excuse and run off. I never believed him, but I didn't press on it, because I thought they were just going to think of some hoax to play on the Slytherins or something. I never dreamed it would be this big. I mean, what if they were found out? Or what if the animagus thing suddenly backfired and they got bitten by Remus? And what if--"

"Whoa! Hold on there girl!" cried Celeste, "Don't you think you're getting a big carried away? I mean, come on, James doesn't have to tell you _everything_!"

"No, but he doesn't have to lie to me about it either," said Lily a bit bitterly.

" Maybe he wanted to tell you but he felt you'd be better off not knowing and having to worry about him all the time," suggested Celeste, " You know, you _are_ rather a worrywart sometimes."

"Hey, who's side are you on, anyway?" cried Lily indignantly, for she hated being called a worrywart because she knew it was true.

"_Your_ side," said Celeste patiently, " But I also can see why James didn't tell you. He was just trying to protect Remus. Besides, he knows what he's doing."

"Does he?" asked Lily.

"Oh, ye of little faith," said Celeste with a grin, " Just think of how many pranks and hoaxes he's pulled and not get caught. He has got to be the luckiest person in the world."

"Yes, I know," said Lily quietly, "I'm just afraid what will happen when his luck runs out."

"That won't happen," said Celeste confidently, "And if it does, I know you're going to be standing right by him and pulling him through, just as he'd do for you."

Without thinking, Lily started dimpling and blushing. "Well…" she said slowly, "I guess I have been rather silly about all this haven't I?"

"Yes," said Celeste's other mirror, which was still lying on her nightstand, "You've really messed things up. Now you'll have to go and try your best to make amends with James and hope that he'll listen to you after what you've done to him. Now get going before he starts getting interested in another girl!"

Lily stared at the mirror. Celeste quickly snatched it up and stuffed it under her bed mattress. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. This mirror has an advice-giving charm on it. Mostly it's pessimistic advice but sometimes it's good advice. But as you know, I never listen to good advice, so it's completely worthless to me. But it was right when it told you that you need to try and patch it up with James. Sirius told me he's hanging around in the library sulking."

"Yes, you're right," said Lily, slowly getting up, "I owe him an explanation. I only hope he's not _too_ mad at me."

"Do you want me to come with you, just in case he is?" asked Celeste.

Lily started to say yes, but stopped herself. "No, I need to do this by myself," she said.

Celeste nodded. "Ok, well I'll meet you in Hogsmeade when you're done," she said.

Lily nodded and with a set jaw and determined eyes headed in the direction of the library.

Lily walked in the door of the library. James was nowhere in sight. '_I hope he isn't starting to get interested in someone else, like the mirror said,'_ she thought desperately. She walked around the rows of books and finally spotted him near the restricted section. He was talking to somebody. Lily couldn't see the face, but she knew it was a girl by her hair and her robes. She felt her heart sinking when the girl turned around.

Lily almost laughed with relief. It was an especially ugly and stupid Slytherin girl named Mariel. The entire school knew that Mariel had a crush on James. It was also known by everyone, with the possible exception of Mariel, that James detested her. 

Lily came up close to them and saw in James' face that he was desperately waiting for someone to rescue him. Mariel was prattling on and on about the time her grandmother had knitted her a gorgeous pink, orange, and yellow sweater with little aquamarine bunnies all over it, and how she took it with her everywhere. She was just about to ask James if he wanted her to bring it to dinner so he could see it when Lily sidestepped up to them.

"James!" she cried dramatically, pretending to look hurt, " Where were you? You were supposed to meet me at the Three Broomsticks an hour ago! And here I find you flirting with Mariel! Oh, I hate you both!"

Lily pretended to burst into tears. Mariel, who needed a few moments for her brain to analyze all this, said very loudly, " Some girls just aren't able to see that the object of their affections can't stand them and are in love with another girl."

Lily almost choked with laughter at the irony of this. Confused, Mariel tried another attack. "What's the matter, Atkins? Can't keep your own boyfriend?" she asked smugly.

"At least I can get one," said Lily smiling sweetly. "Oh, and by the way, Mariel," she continued, "There are some people outside who are tossing around a revolting sweater with bunnies all over it. I think they're planning on burning it when they're through with it.They seem to be having a good time. Why don't you go join them?"

With a strangled cry, Mariel ran for the door, almost running into 5 people. Lily giggled and then turned to James. She took a deep breath and began.

" Look, James, I just want to say sorry for what I said in the hall," she said in a rush, " See, I was mad at you for lying to me about Remus.

"Yes, I know all about it," she said, seeing the surprised look on his face, " And I know about the Animagus thing. I overheard you and your friends talking about it. That's why I was mad at you, because you always made up some different excuse where you were disappearing all the time. I thought it was because you didn't trust me. I didn't realize it might be because you wanted to protect me."

"Lily," James interrupted, " _I_ should be the one apologizing. I know you can take care of yourself and I should have told you. I was selfish, I guess. I was just afraid that you might want to be an Animagi too, and I didn't want to worry about you all the time."

"So we're ok then? You're not mad at me anymore?" Lily asked hopefully.

James grinned. "We're ok, but I'm still mad at you," he said, pretending to scowl, "Where the heck were you last night? You were supposed to meet me here and you never showed up! And still, not a word of apology!"

"You big faker," said Lily, giving him a kiss on the cheek, " Come on, let's go. Sirius and Celeste are waiting for us at the Three Broomsticks."

~FINIS~


End file.
